Rare's Version:

"Left!" rasped a voice to his left.

"Right!" came the immediate response from the other side.

It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now the Klaptrap turning the wheel wasn't so sure. "It'll be great fun," he'd been told, "we'll just take it out for a quick spin while he's asleep." But his little legs were getting tired now and those two incompetent fools hadn't a clue where they were going, let alone any idea how to slow down the speeding island.

"Left!"

"Right!"

"Left!"

"Right!"

With a sickening crunch of metal against rock, the King's pride and joy came to a shuddering halt, knocking all three off their feet and into an undignified heap in the far corner of the room. The tough little Klaptrap was up first, dashing eagerly across to the broken bridge window to see what those goons had hit. It was better than he'd hoped.

"You two are going to be in sooo much trouble when I tell him what you've crashed into!" he barked gleefully at the crestfallen duo, "and those monkeys aren't going to be too pleased either…"

Klaptrap was right, but it wasn't just that pair that were in trouble. Deep within the gloomy bowels of his latest creation, a furious King K. Rool sat on his throne, glaring down at the quaking generals of his vast Kremling army assembled before him.

"Well? I'm still waiting for an answer…"

His plan couldn't fail this time, or so he had thought. But like so many times in the past he'd underestimated just how useless his scaly minions could be. It had taken years to build, but now his mighty island stronghold lay immobile off the coast of its very first target – Kong Isle.

Perhaps all is not lost though, the King mused. I know we're ahead of schedule but it must be working by now. It's time to rid myself of those flea bitten apes once and for all!

K. Rool's evil laughter echoed around the throne room as the order was given.

"Power up the Blast-o-Matic. Target is Kong Isle. Fire when ready!"

The weighty King lumbered over to a window. How he'd waited for this day, to see their precious homeland reduced to rubble. They'd beaten him so many times in the past but this was to be his finest hour!

The silence was interrupted, not by a deafening explosion, but by a pathetic whimper.

"I'm so v-very really sorry your M-Majesty, but I'm afraid the Blast-o-Matic isn't quite w-working yet…"

K. Rool turned to face the white-coated technician responsible for the bad news who'd hesitantly shuffled across. Then, suddenly, the King began to cry.

"It's just not fair…" he sobbed, "I really thought I was going to win this time."

The bloated form of Klump waddled over and put a consoling arm around his distraught leader.

"Don't get all upset now, your Excellency. We'll go and capture those nasty Kongs for you. Then you'll have all the time in the world to get your Blast-o-Matic ready, won't you?"

"Do you think that will be enough?" the King sniffled.

"You're right as always, O Exalted One. We'll also steal their Golden Bananas as usual, so that if any Kongs escape us they will be too busy looking for them to come and ruin your magnificent plans."

"Oh, I'd be so grateful…"

King K. Rool watched his generals leave with a big smile on his ugly green face. He wiped away his crocodile tears and began to laugh. His little bit of play-acting had worked, and those Kongs would soon be history. He glared down at the bemused technician.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Get the Blast-o-Matic working, I've got an island to destroy!"

My Simplified Version: